Are Your Thoughts Making You Feel Worse? 8 Common Cognitive Distortions

Have you ever had a bad day and thought, “Of course this happened. Everything always goes wrong for me”?

Or made one small mistake and immediately thought, “I'm such an idiot”?

Or sent a text to someone and, when they didn't respond, assumed, “They're mad at me.”

These thoughts can feel completely true in the moment. But sometimes, our minds fall into predictable patterns that make situations seem worse, more threatening, or more personal than they actually are.

In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), these patterns are called cognitive distortions.

Cognitive distortions are habitual ways of interpreting situations that can contribute to anxiety, depression, self-criticism, and other forms of emotional distress. Everyone experiences them from time to time- especially when we're stressed, overwhelmed, or upset.

The goal isn't to eliminate negative thoughts or force yourself to “think positive.” Instead, CBT helps you notice these patterns, question them, and develop a more balanced way of looking at what's happening.

Here are eight common cognitive distortions you might recognize in your own thinking.

1. All-or-Nothing Thinking

Also called black-and-white thinking, this happens when we see things in extremes, with little room for anything in between.

“I didn't get everything done today, so I'm completely unproductive.”

“If I'm not good at this, I'm terrible at it.”

“We had one argument, so our relationship is failing.”

Life rarely fits neatly into categories like success or failure, good or bad, always or never. Learning to recognize the gray areas can help create a more realistic perspective.

2. Overgeneralizing

This is when one difficult experience becomes evidence for a much larger conclusion.

“I didn't get that job. I'll never find a job I like.”

“That relationship didn't work out. I'm always going to end up alone.”

Words like always, never, everyone, and no one can sometimes be clues that we're taking one experience and turning it into a prediction about the future.

One difficult experience is real—but it doesn't necessarily tell you what will happen next.

3. Catastrophizing

Catastrophizing means jumping to the worst possible outcome and treating it as though it's inevitable.

You make a mistake at work and think:

“I'm going to get fired. Then I'll never find another job. I'm going to lose everything.”

Or you feel a new physical symptom and immediately assume something terrible must be wrong.

When we're anxious, our brains are wired to look for potential threats. But imagining the worst-case scenario isn't the same as predicting the most likely outcome.

CBT can help you pause and ask: What do I actually know? What am I assuming? And what are some other possible outcomes?

4. Mind Reading

Mind reading is when we assume we know what someone else is thinking or feeling without actually having enough information.

Your friend seems quieter than usual:

“She's annoyed with me.”

Your coworker doesn't respond enthusiastically to your idea:

“They think it was stupid.”

Your partner doesn't respond to your text:

“They're upset with me.”

The problem is that we can't actually know what someone else is thinking unless they tell us.

There may be explanations you haven't considered—and sometimes, the only way to find out is to ask.

5. Mental Filtering

Mental filtering happens when we focus heavily on one negative part of an experience while overlooking everything else.

Imagine you give a presentation and receive several compliments, but one person points out something you could have done differently.

You spend the rest of the day thinking about the criticism.

The positive feedback doesn't feel as important.

Our brains can become especially tuned in to negative information when we're stressed or struggling with low self-esteem. Recognizing the filter can help you step back and ask: Am I looking at the whole picture, or just the part that went wrong?

6. Discounting the Positive

This is closely related to mental filtering, but instead of simply overlooking positive experiences, we actively find reasons they don't count.

“I only got the promotion because my boss likes me.”

“That wasn't really a big accomplishment.”

“Anyone could have done that.”

When compliments, successes, or positive experiences are consistently explained away, they can't challenge the negative beliefs we have about ourselves.

Sometimes, allowing a positive experience to simply count is an important part of changing the way we see ourselves.

7. Emotional Reasoning

Emotional reasoning is when we assume that because something feels true, it must be true.

“I feel like a failure, so I must be a failure.”

“I feel anxious, so something must be wrong.”

“I feel like nobody likes me, so nobody likes me.”

Our emotions are meaningful and deserve attention. But emotions aren't always accurate reflections of reality.

You can feel anxious even when you're safe. You can feel inadequate even when you're doing well. You can feel rejected without actually being rejected.

Learning to acknowledge an emotion without automatically treating it as a fact can create a lot more flexibility.

8. Should Statements

Should statements are rigid expectations about how we (or other people) should behave.

“I should be able to handle this.”

“I shouldn't feel this way.”

“My partner should know what I need without me having to ask.”

“I should have accomplished more by now.”

These thoughts can create guilt, shame, resentment, and frustration.

Sometimes, changing “I should” to “I would like” or “I wish” can create a little more compassion and flexibility.

Instead of “I should be handling this better,” you might try:

“I wish this were easier for me. I'm doing the best I can right now.”

So What Do You Do When You Notice a Cognitive Distortion?

The first step is simply noticing it.

You don't have to argue with every negative thought that enters your mind. Instead, try getting curious about it.

Ask yourself:

• Is this thought a fact, or is it my interpretation?

• Am I making an assumption?

• Am I looking at this situation in extremes?

• What evidence supports this thought?

• What evidence doesn't?

• Is there another possible explanation?

• What would I say to a friend who was thinking this way?

You may not be able to stop a thought from showing up. But you can learn to create some space between having a thought and believing it.

CBT Can Help You Change Your Relationship With Your Thoughts

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can help you identify automatic thoughts and the patterns that keep you feeling stuck. By learning to recognize cognitive distortions and examine the beliefs behind them, you can begin developing more balanced and flexible ways of thinking. CBT also incorporates behavioral strategies, because changing what we do can be just as important as changing what we think.

The goal isn't to turn every negative thought into a positive one.

It's to develop thoughts that are more realistic, flexible, and helpful—and to give yourself more choices in how you respond to life's challenges.

If you recognize some of these thinking patterns in yourself, therapy can be a space to slow down, understand where those patterns come from, and practice responding to them differently.

Interested in learning more about CBT? Inner Balance Counseling offers therapy for adults and teens in the Atlanta area. Learn more about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy at Inner Balance Counseling.